Kiss the Air...Goodbye.

I have come to the end of that exciting and memorable journey.

I knew I had to quit..I knew I'd do it sooner or later.

It's just so hard... I feel as if I didn't have any worth.. I feel as if he really didn't care about me.. Well I know he did but I just wasn't able to feel that last night..

I am so sick adn tired of crying and crying over and over again..

I know it's my fault because I choose to go into situations where I know I am at a loss.. But still, I try hoping things would be different..

I know it's true that you can never be happy if you have stepped on feelings of others; whether they knew it or not.. It's only now that I'm beginning to realize that...

Well. It's over. It's done.

"For what it's worth, I think I am in love with you.. If it weren't for the situation you know I'd be running back to you... But I think this is the best decision to do... I am crying... I'm crying because I'll really miss you... so much... I don't knowhow I will face everyday now... Knowing that maybe I could've had you... It just wasn't the right time.. "

Kiss the Air

If I stayed with you
I would live a lie
For you deserve a love
This heart cannot provide
So I’ll wish you well
And be on my way

I’m not the one who could give you what you need
So I’ll bid you farewell but don’t you dare watch me leave

I didn’t mean to
Hurt you this way
But I’m not what you need
So I guess
I’ll just be on my way
One day you’ll wake up
And thank me for what I did
When you’re living your happy life
Behind your white fence, new husband and kids

Like a captured bird
Who yearns to sail the sky
I will unlock your cage now
So prepare to fly
And I’ll kiss the air
And hope it finds you well
Goodbye

I’m not the one who could give you what you need
So I’ll bid you farewell but don’t you dare watch me leave

I didn’t meant to
Hurt you this way
But I’m not what you need
So I guess
I’ll just be on my way
One day you’ll wake up
And thank me for what I did
When you’re living your happy life
Behind your white fence, new husband and kids

I didn’t meant to
Hurt you this way
But I’m not what you need
So I guess
I’ll just be on my way
One day you’ll wake up
And thank me for what I did
When you’re living your happy life
Behind your white fence, new husband and kids

So, I’ll kiss the air
And hope it finds you well
Goodbye

..at the losing end.

Why do I always have to be in a situation where I'm the one who's really hurting? Okay partly because I chose to be in this, despite of all the known circumstances...

I have placed myself again in a very difficult situation.

Again I have overestimated myself.. I though I could really do separate "playing around" with my own true feelings...But no turns out I can't. Well I don't love him YET, but I know I'm on my way to, if I don't stop..

..And I have to stop. In this process, I am hurting someone. Some people actually.

I am hurting some innocent person who doesn't know what's going on... I'm hurting my friends because of my situation... I didn't want to be in this.. But I am happy. I was.. Until all these feeling starts rushing into me-- Love, confusion, (my conscience playing in my head), fear...

I don't want to be alone.. I don't want to be alone :(