Remembering the Past

For so long (as in so long), I have been looking for my journals when I was in Fourth year highschool I think. I know I had those cute pink diaries bought from Regalong Pambahay which I kept everywhere hidden around my room. It is hidden because my mom has a tendency to raid my room for those diaries (when I was younger, now I leanred not to have those, because I know she'll be raiding my stuff again if she finds out haha!). Even waaay back, I think she got and read my diaries and that pissed me off real bad so, I'm just glad I'm a really talkative person now than before and I have close friends to share my thoughts and problems with so there. :)

Anyway, going back, I FOUND ONE!! It's the volume 2 though of my three part diary in foruth year. I was so excited to see it and immediately flipped through the pages and read the entries. It was definitely FUNNY! Dati pa lang pala, madrama na ako. HAHAHA!! Really! It's all about school and insecurities about friends having a "lovelife" and I'm not having one... Some fantasies I'd rather not talk about (for it's very very stupid.. and crazy.. and funny all at the same time!). Basta, it's all so funny and sad at the same time. I had issues then that I still am having NOW (guess what hahahaha). It's nice to look back, still.

Why did I share this? Well, The thing that I'm really gonna share is a like a story about love (How we "fall" in love). It's kind of nice (Pero kasi ngayon I don't believe that it is called "falling" in love eh, basta I'll share my insight in the next few days na I got from I Kissed Dating Goodbye, 'coz I kinda have a hectic schedule with Bible school and stuffs haha). Haha! I just forgot where exactly did I got this.

Falling in love is like going into a building with that person... After the first impression, the first smile, or the first whatever that caught your attention, you go into the lobby... Every step you take, he/she gives you a reason to take another step forward... then another... then another... Until you get to the point of going to the second floor...

You climb the stairs together, getting to know each other... You find out you have a lot in common... You find out about the things that he/she likes... about the things that he/she hates... you find yourself laughing over each other's embarrassing moments... You start to feel something... You start to feel the friendship the moment you step into the second floor...

You keep on climbing the stairs, and as you go, your friendship goes to a whole new level... He/she tells you practically everything... You start to develop a relationship with each other that has no inhibitions, no restrictions... You begin to know each other so well... You're so comfortable... And by the time you step onto the platform of the third floor, you know, he/she cares for you...

And so the two of you continue climbing the stairs, but this time you're going hand in hand... He/she is much closer to you now... Even more comfortable than before... And you think to yourself "Is this still the friendship talking? Or is it something else?"

The moment those thoughts enter your mind, your heart flutters everytime he/she gestures to hold your hand, or steady on your arm... Your heart skips a beat everytime the person just smiles... And by the time the two of you share a hug, all you feelings have exploded and you find yourself stepping onto the platform of the fourth floor...

You don't know what to do... You feel like something's different... That something else is going on between the two of you... That he/she likes you... And that you are starting to feel the same way... to your excitement, you rush out of the stairwell to take the elevator to the rooftop... You're thinking, "This is it! This is finally it!" You're ready to take the fall... But when you've reached the edge of the rooftop, you realize that he/she is not behind you... You worry... You start to wonder, "Why am I alone here?" Then looking below you, you see him/her waiting for you... He/she screams, "Don't be afraid... I'm here to catch you!" your heart suddenly became as big as the moon... The one you love is right there waiting, just waiting to catch you from your fall! You don't hesitate another minute, you jump and you end up below, in his/her arms, with all your love and admiration, you hug that person and thank him/her for catching you... BUT HERE'S THE THING... He/she made it down fast to catch you right? That person never left the fourth floor dreary... AND SO THERE LAY THE TRADGEDY... You were so caught up in your emotions that you rushed your way into love... Not even thinking about the other person.. You skipped so many moments, so many signs and so many detours that you didn't see what you left behind... Now, what are you left with?THE SAME PERSONYOU FIRST SAW AT THE LOBBY. You're back to the smiles, and the simple "hey" you had together in the beginning.

WHY?

The person went bacdown to cath you remember?

DON'T LOOK FOR SOMEONE TO CATCH YOU... find someone who would take time to climb the staps with you an have their arms around you when you decide to take the fall... Don't rush... If you're not sure that the person wants to go up another floor, don't beat him/her to it... THAT'S THE STUPIDEST MOST PAINFUL AND MOST REGRETFUL THING YOU COULD DO...